My younger sister was still in
her highchair
I was almost 3 when our mother
rode off with
a boyfriend
and never came back

My dad was off fishing
and never came back

Alone in a house on
12th Street

From house to house
of relatives and grandparents
A ward of the court
then foster home

It was a good home
as long as I followed the rules
Wasn’t invited on family vacations though
I wasn’t family

Seventeen and on my own
New town
New job
New friends

Married at 19 to a widower
with three children
and me a Mom
who knew nothing

But Donna Reed
and Father Knows Best
showed me the way

Married mother of 3
then 4 when my son came
along
after losing two babies
I finally had a family

That ended years later
On my own with my son
now grown

Three marriages and
two adopted daughters
Family took on new meanings

I’ve never known the conventional
Borrowed
Adopted
My own
I’ve experienced it all

and never felt truly in my own skin
never learned the ropes
always played by ear
a chameleon
adapting to the signs of the times

always adrift in a world
of make believe