When you are a victim of abuse whether it be emotional, physical, mental, or power, the most difficult issue to face is finding your voice. I say victim, because until you can find your voice, tell your story, whether you are believed or not, you will remain always a victim of circumstances that will color your every decision and action.
Abuse is a precarious beast. It has hidden agendas which can not be nor may never fully be exposed to its victims or perpetrators unless challenged. Never speaking up or out will not challenge the beast leaving the residue of loveless acts to smoulder and fester beneath the surface of consciousness. If wellbeing is to be achieved, healing to take place, the wounds must be excised.
A perfect example in todays news is that of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex and the book Spare. Imagine if you will Prince Harry’s journey since and before his mother Princess Diana’s Death. A child of divorce, brought about among other things by the intrusion into the marriage of a third party, a mistress of the father, and the relentless stalking by the press, contributing to the death of his mother. Follow that in a years time to the marriage of his father to the mistress, not to mention the alienating fact that he is looked upon as the spare to the rights of the kingdom’s throne. Follow that with marriage to an outsider of different breeding and color.
This is only the tip of an iceberg of a history fraught with abuses of many natures. To not speak up or out, to follow a protocol that will not nor does not address the insidious nature of the beast is detrimental to anyone’s mental, emothional and physical well being. Prince Harry chose to speak up. As to whether his efforts have or are making a difference only Harry and Megan can determine. In the public eye there are differing sides of opinion. There are those who mock and defame their choices while there are those who applaud there efforts to speak up on behalf of well being.
In any case on one side, their choosing to speak out is viewed as an act of love. The pictures played out in public tell alternative stories dependant upon the perception of the onlooker. The future King’s coronation brings a lot to ponder. Why out of 365 days in a year would the most important day of the king’s life, one he has waited for for over 70 years, would he choose the very compromising date of his grandson’s birthday? Is it revenge? Is it a power play, “choose me or your family”? That the King would ask that of his own son, putting him in the position of having to choose, diminishing the importance of his grandson’s birth, makes this writer question their relationship. What truths are being hidden? What truths add to the value of Prince Harry’s quest and story to be out from under the thumb of oppresion and victimhood?
Buried truths contribute to our state of health. Our well being is dependent upon unearthing the hidden fragments of our negative experiences. Unless acknowledged, our every choice is colored by the residue left behind, and victimhood remains constant. Speak up, speak out to really be a survivor. Validate your right to be loved, to be free. Share your story.