Hindsight

If only I knew then what I know now
I wouldn’t have married a sociopath/pedophile
I would have recognized the warning signs
And I might have saved my daughter

If only I knew then what I know now
I would have seen my son was afraid,
feeling lonely, lost and unloved
Despite his cheerful attitude

If only I knew then what I know now
I could have made choices
That supported my passions
And created security
In following my heart

If only I knew then what I know now
I shouldn’t have married the widower with 3 adorable children
The universe tried to stop me
A roadblock on the way to the church
A bronchial choking spell in the middle of the ceremony

Signs were everywhere
I remember
I felt them
The uncomfortable feelings in my gut
The uneasiness
The question

But I let naïveté, my own need, and stubborn ego push me on
I didn’t listen
I didn’t know how