For one and one half years, I had a lump the size of a walnut in my breast before it exploded in agonizing pain. It wasn’t that I ignored its presence in that time. It appeared during a time of extreme physical illness and emotional tension, for which I was taking extensive amounts of medication and it seemed to me that perhaps there was a connection.
I felt in my heart as I was attempting to bring back a physical and emotional equilibrium in my life, that the physical manifestation of this traumatic period would disappear. I did not expect the pain which shot through my breast, up to my shoulder blade and down the inside of my arm. Even clothing became irritating.
I refused to see a medical doctor. I wanted no more medication, no more surgeries. The pain prompted me to seek direction however. I went to a Chinese healer who worked with herbal remedies and acupuncture.
After a brief talk and diagnosis given of a fibrous tumor, he placed a small circular pin in my ear, to be left in that position for a week, then prescribed a combination of herbs among which was FoTi and a moxibustion treatment.
I was to drink the FoTi mixture several times a day for several months. The moxibustion treatment seemed quite bizzarre and smelled like marijuana. I was to take a small amount of the leaves, roll it up in a bit of paper, light it, blow out the flame leaving the smouldering embers and hold the heated mixture just slightly above the skin about 2 inches below the navel for a few minutes. I felt like an idiot locked away in the bathroom amid some archaic ritual. I will admit that it did have a balancing effect, subtle but noticeable, much like the experience when taking flower essence remedies.
The doctor stressed the importance of a cure was the knowledge that just as the physical body could manifest symptoms of illness, it could equally reverse the process. I was amazed at the thought that felt so simple and clear. My heart felt it surely and was willing to put up with the pain and follow his promptings.
The more extreme pain lasted 6 months, yet within that time there was the beginning of noticeable shrinkage and diminished discomfort that spurred me on. It took a full year for the lump to go away and any tenderness to be insignificant.
Trusting this process changed my perceptions about illness and healing. What guided me through it was the conviction that there had to be another pathway for me, even though I was not fully conscious of what that meant or where it would lead. The disappearance of the lump validated my feelings and thus opened the door for further exploration of the science of illness, it’s creation and healing.